According to social media, #SelfCare can include anything from bubble baths and candles to expensive products and trips. It also includes beauty treatments and expensive products. Does spending all your money on supplements and wellness retreats really constitute self-care? What would an effective, practical self-care routine look like? Why is that important?
Takeaway: Here are the top tips for ensuring that you and your clients get health self-care.
What makes SELF-CARE meaningful?
Think about what it means for you to take care of something. When we care deeply for someone or something – a houseplant, a pet dog, a child or an elder – we will go to great lengths to meet their needs. It’s no different when it comes to caring for yourself.
When we develop habits and practices to meet our fundamental needs, that is meaningful self-care. Self-care is a commodity when it’s marketed as a product or service on social media. Self-care is sold in a way that leads to confusion, avoidance and frustration over time.
Learning about yourself, your needs and how to meet them creates a solid foundation for meaning, purpose, accomplishment and wellbeing. I find that as a coach I give my clients the permission to prioritise practices that are in line with their needs, rather than spending money on things they do not need.
Positive, positive habits
Self-care continues when routine habits and practices are followed to meet the foundational needs. If you want to achieve positive mental health, be successful at work, school, or support your family and community, or realize your purpose, your foundational needs will help.
The systems that meet our basic needs are more effective than bath bombs or beauty products. Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs”, a well-known list of needs, lists air, water, shelter and sleep as physiological requirements. Consider the following updated list for your own well-being:
Stable living conditions
Nourishing Food
Hydration
Sleep
Move with ease
Mental Health Practices
Stable income
Ask yourself, when you consider each of these needs: What behaviors will allow you to meet those needs and build the foundation for wellness? Once you’ve got the foundations down, it’s time to consider your higher-order needs.
Financial stability and long term planning
Friendship and connection
Community and Legacy
Communication Style
Enjoyment, enjoyment, and hobbies
Passion and purpose
Remember that the best behavior changes are gradual, small and steady with a positive emotional outcome. It’s not about changing your entire life at once. Instead, it’s about creating sustainable practices to create a lifestyle.
Do you want to know how to bring wellness into your life? Our Certified Wellness Coach Course will teach you more.
RESPONDING to Stress
In a perfect world, we would all be balanced and regulated all the time. But life is filled with challenges. We expect some challenges, but others we wouldn’t anticipate. You may have learned to deal with stress in unhealthy ways depending on your culture, your family of origin and your life experiences.
Self-care that is meaningful doesn’t just mean our healthy habits. This includes practices that can help you manage stress, deal with any challenges that come up, integrate the lessons you’ve learned, and return to equilibrium.
Stress can cause the nervous system and brain to react in a certain way. Difficult feelings can narrow our thinking and focus, which leads to rumination. This narrow thinking was helpful to our ancestors in surviving threats. But, the constant overstimulation of modern life and the stress it causes can lead to burnout.
Positive emotions, on the other hand, can help us to think more creatively and solve problems, as well as heal damage caused by stress. When we are already stressed, it is likely that we will repeat poor coping mechanisms, despite the best of intentions.
Reflecting on how you handled stressful situations in the past can help you plan what you will do moving forward.
Try this:
Five-minutes of loving kindness or gratitude to create a positive emotional mood.
Remember the last time that you felt really stressed. Journal: What did you do to cope with the stress?
List 3 to 5 alternatives to how you dealt with stress.
Post your list where you can see it. Commit to trying at least some of the strategies on the list, before you resort to less effective coping mechanisms.
Common Challenges
Many of us have good intentions, but we still find it difficult to follow through with our plans. Here are some common challenges that I have encountered with students and clients:
Healthy Boundaries
We are usually overloaded with work. There are many things that can derail our self-care strategy, whether it is Slack messages sent by the CEO at 7am on a weekend morning, trying to keep up with your kids’ schedules or reacting emotionally dysregulated partner. It’s difficult to balance all of these distractions. Many people have trouble saying “no” and also struggle with guilt when they make time for themselves.
Setting boundaries and then realizing how much better they are at work, with their children, partners, or other important events has helped me clients. They can work through negative emotions such as guilt and shame by experimenting with setting boundaries and feeling their benefits. If these emotions are stopping you from making the progress you want, it might be helpful to consult a mental health professional.
Good Enough Over Perfect
A common problem is that we feel our habits must be perfect to be effective. Perfectionism can be seen when clean eating is taken too far, or over-exercising. It also shows up whenever a wellness and fitness practice becomes overwhelming. The need to be perfect can negatively impact other areas of our lives, or we may avoid the practice altogether because it is now overwhelming.
The “good enough people” know when they will be satisfied, and then allow themselves to enjoy it. The people who are always looking for the best end up feeling like they’re never satisfied and have a bar that is constantly moving.
Ask yourself, “What is enough for me to achieve my goals?” When your efforts to make a change pay off, you can enjoy the results.
CONCLUSION
Self-care should be ongoing. Self-care is ongoing. Self-care, like your wellness journey is a continuous process. It’s not just a list of habits that you tick off every morning. The time and effort you invest in evaluating and improving those practices will pay off for your long-term well-being.
